In Cantonese, colloquial terms are often comprised of one or more characters, with words compounded to form new meaning. Hoysum means happy in Cantonese, a common term used widely and warmly to describe feelings of joy. Growing up, I heard this phrase often, used not only in reference to happiness, but almost as a scale for feeling all other emotions depending on the presence/absence of hoysum -​

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are you happy or are you unhappy?​

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This casual turn of phrase, used frequently over a lifetime, suggests an unspoken expectation – that being hoysum is the norm and that something must be wrong if we’re not consistently joyful. For many, there can persist a quiet striving or yearning to always be happy no matter the cause or context, resulting in impossible standards made worse in this era of social media and relentless self-comparison.